Lead with Grace
As we age, we (hopefully) gain more perspective. What hurt us and caused us pain as we were growing up can make us blame or bring up feelings of anger, but what if we chose to forgive? What if we lead with grace? I listened to a podcast the other day that had me so engrossed in the message that I hopped off the treadmill to write down the thoughts running through my head. Applying the host’s message to my own life and contemplating the perspective from which I had been viewing things in my past. I am linking the podcast episode at the bottom of this post because it was that good. In case any of you are big fans of podcasts, it is The Ed Mylett Show. He wrote the book, The Power of One More, which is next on my list of books to read. Ironically, this book had just been added to my “to read” list before I even clicked on this random podcast episode. In this episode, he interviews Sam Acho. Sam ends up asking how Ed forgave his father. For reference, his father was an alcoholic but got sober when Ed was 15 years old. They ended up building this beautiful relationship until his dad died 35 years later. However, for 15 years during his formative years, he had to deal with his father’s addiction and that was painful. So, how did he forgive him? He shifted his perspective. He said, “I don’t know what my dad went through in his life to bring him to the place to depend on alcohol and drugs. But if we lead with love and give grace from a different vantage point or perspective, we can realize that we are all human beings that make mistakes or have regrets, but that doesn’t mean we don’t deserve love.” How powerful is that statement?
This got me thinking about my own life. My own story. My own version of my past. My own perspective. Did I miss out on a beautiful relationship with someone out of anger or hurt? Possibly. Are my feelings valid; absolutely. But, what if instead of anger or hurt feelings, I gave grace to those who had wronged me? After all, we are all human beings and we all make mistakes or have regrets—some bigger than others, but does that mean we don’t deserve grace? It would be hypocritical to say that this person or that person deserves grace or even that I do, but a person who has wronged me should receive none. I’m not talking about the little things; I’m talking about the big things. The product of divorce-induced quarrels that you don’t understand as a child. The parent that wasn’t around like they should have been, or even like in Ed’s case, an alcoholic parent.
Being a product of a divorced family or having a dad that I don’t really know doesn’t make me different, but maybe choosing to forgive the past and give grace for the future does. I chose to forgive a long time ago. Living with anger, hurt, or resentment doesn’t serve me or the person I strive to be. However, looking at my hurt from a different perspective and deciding to show grace and love on top of forgiveness—that, is healing. So, I hope I can lead by example and be a part of the ripple that Ed Mylett has started. That I can hopefully make people feel good and always aspire to be better. God shows up on the other side of fear. Is it scary to change your perspective and get uncomfortable in the process? Yes, but who can grow by staying still and being comfortable? Let’s all lead with a little more grace and the willingness to shift our perspective—who knows what remarkable things will come from that.
I hope you all have a wonderful weekend, and as always, happy reading.
Gold + Grain Photography
@goldandgrainphotography