My son’s preschool ended this week and as I sat there picturing all the smiling faces, I thought about how much each of them has grown over the course of this year. I felt overwhelming pride. These children are perfectly imperfect and we love them so very much! How can his first year of preschool already be ending? I feel like we just walked him into the classroom for the very first time yesterday. It all got me thinking about motherhood and parenting in general…

What if we thought more about what we do well as parents and less about what we hope to change, correct, or improve? I love the idea of always working towards improving, but what if in the worry and research of the greatest parenting techniques and “best practices” we lose the magic of the right now? The power in knowing which type of cry we are hearing. The knowledge of favorite colors, stuffed animals, and blankies. The translations of specific “kid language” that only parents understand. Your parenting is exceptional. Your children love you and you love them. Focus on the positive parts of parenting. The things that you feel deep in your bones when you picture the sweet face of your baby (no matter how old that baby is).

I can beat myself up sometimes about my patience being tested and having a rude tone with my kids. It can be so difficult in certain moments. Why aren’t they listening to me? Why won’t they just do what I’m asking? But today I tried to change my perspective on how I judge myself on my parenting. I tried to show myself the same grace I easily share with everyone else. I realized that a lot of my impatient parenting comes from a place of needing to hurry. Needing to get this done so I can move on to the next thing, but then I thought—why am I in such a hurry? Now, this isn’t a moment of we are running late craziness, this is just in the motions of the everyday. Like going up the stairs to naptime and my little girl likes to move up one………step………at……a……time, sit down, smile at me, and then move to the next and do it all over again. We have approximately 20 steps, so something that could take two seconds takes two minutes. Then I questioned myself. Why am I in such a hurry? What am I rushing toward that is taking me away from her sweet (ornery) smiling face as she slowlyyyyyyyyyy moves from one stair to the other? The answer is nothing important enough to not find some humor in the situation. The ability to embrace this season of knowing that everything takes a little bit longer.

As I reflected on this week, I gave myself an internal pat on the back for a parenting job well done. I focused on what I did well instead of what I needed to work on. The newfound independence of my little girl wanting to put her pants on by herself—yet another time-consuming ordeal. And buckle her seatbelt without help—whew, do you have what seems like at least 5 extra minutes needed to be ready to leave? I decided to embrace her independence because, after all, that’s what I want for her someday, isn’t it? I want her to be her own person, fight for what she wants, and to be independent. So, when we get ready to leave, we leave a few minutes earlier. I let her put on her pants and I let her buckle her seatbelt. While I internally giggle at her extreme determination, simultaneously swelling with pride at her perseverance. Then, when I hear the final click of the buckle, I cheer like she just completed her first marathon. I watch her eyes light up as her face fills with pride along with my heart.

What is something you can be proud of, or you know you do well as a parent? List five things right now that you know you are great at when it comes to parenting or motherhood. Go ahead, this isn’t a trick question. Write them down. Stop. Stop reading right now and make a note on a phone app, write it on a napkin, or piece of paper—but list 5 things right now that you can be proud of. They can be simple everyday things or big moments you know you handled well. Either way, list them and save them. When you are having a hard parenting moment or something didn’t quite go to plan, refer to that list and whisper to yourself—I am an amazing parent, and my family is lucky to have me. The more you say it, the more you will believe it, and believing in yourself is the key. I hope you walk away from reading this and can put a positive spin on your parenting day-to-day. I hope you have goals and things you are working on, but at the same time, I hope you don’t dwell. Don’t dwell on the moment you lost your cool and yelled. Or that moment you had to step away before their lack of patience made yours completely disappear. You, my friend, are an amazing parent, and your family is truly lucky to have you.

I hope you enjoyed the post this week. If you’d like to read more, check out one of my most-read posts from 2023 so far - “Women’s Retreat”.

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I hope you have a wonderful weekend, and as always, happy reading.