Women’s Retreat
I recently attended a women’s retreat that my friend told me about at her church. I brought my aunt along with me. To be honest, I had no idea what to expect, but I did make a pledge to myself that when opportunities I’m interested in are brought to my attention, I will stop saying no because of the unknown. There was a little anxiety about going to a church I had never been to, and the possibility of a big icebreaker activity made me a little nervous as well. Regardless, we went and what I walked away with was beautiful. Being surrounded by a melting pot of women for a full day and having some of the most encouraging guest speakers to listen to left me feeling inspired, but in some ways emotionally exhausted because as the old saying goes, everyone is dealing with something you know nothing about.
Everyone sat at round tables of 8 women. Women of all ages, professions, and backgrounds were seated around me. We cordially said our hellos before the first speaker and then the lights dimmed with a song. The first speaker told their story and then ended it by explaining what our activity was going to be. I had seen the hammer and bowls at the table when I sat down and hadn’t thought much of it until she said, Kintsugi, literally translated to golden joinery. Kintsugi is a Japanese art form where you mend broken pieces of pottery and fill the cracks and brokenness with gold paint. The result is beautiful pottery that looks like a work of art. I had heard of this method of art from reading an article in the Magnolia Journal magazine a couple of years ago. I ripped it out and saved it because I thought it was such a beautiful way to look at something and repurpose it.
Isn’t that reminiscent of life? There are pieces of us that are cracked or broken and sometimes it takes someone else’s perspective or looking at the journey in a different way to find the beauty in it. So, we all put our gloves on and cover the small bowls with a cloth napkin. With one strong whack each, we break our bowls. What could possibly be done with these pieces? As we grab our super glue and work to repair the breaks, I begin to look around and notice that even though we all used the same technique, the same hammer, and the exact same type of bowl; everyone’s pieces are different. They are different sizes and shapes, and everyone has different amounts of broken pieces as well. The second speaker comes out while our glued pieces dry, and her story was emotional, to say the least. I know I’ve mentioned it doesn’t take much to make me cry, but from the start of her life story up until more recent events, I kept thinking to myself she’s got to catch a break at some point, right? I was looking at her life and wanting to wrap her in a hug and be angry or disappointed for her all at the same time. She didn’t hold any anger towards those who had hurt her or done her wrong though. You do what you must do to survive, and you don’t know how strong you are until you are forced to be. Her story was one of the most incredible that I have heard, and it would be an injustice to try to explain it in a little blog post, but she wrote a book that I have linked at the bottom of this post. One of the last things she said really stuck with me though, so much so that I copied it down in my note app on my phone after she said it.
“Our brokenness is what links us together.”
This statement, as I’m sitting at a table with women I don’t know and crying, made perfect sense to me. I was reminded that each of us in some way is broken. Then we were given a question to go over as a group at our table. What is something that has broken us that we are or have had to deal with in our lives? What is this brokenness linking us together? What can we discuss that at the end of this experience can be one of the cracks in our bowls of life that we can paint gold? These women were beautiful and inspiring and without even knowing any of their names, we spoke of sometimes feeling overwhelmed as mothers, tensions within family relationships, IVF journeys, and the unthinkable pain of having to work through losing a child.
I may not know these women by name, but I will forever remember their stories and keep them close to my heart. I will pray for them and continue to be inspired by their strength every time I look at my bowl. I have it sitting on a shelf in my kitchen as a daily reminder that yes, we are all broken in some way, but there is beauty to be found in the cracks highlighted in gold. The last speaker left us with this, and I think we could all gain some encouragement from it so I will end with it as well—you have survived 100% of your hard days. If you are reading this and are here in this moment, you are a survivor and your brokenness doesn’t define you, but the gold you paint over your cracks makes you and your story beautiful.
Have you heard of Kintsugi before? Have you gone to a women’s retreat before? Let me know in the comments below.
The guest speaker’s book is available on Amazon, click the link below to purchase. Her last name is Hope which seems fitting…
Have a great weekend, friends. As always, happy reading!