Big Emotions
I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving with your loved ones. We traveled to Wisconsin to celebrate the holiday at my brother and sister in law’s house. We are lucky enough to get to stay for a couple extra days to spend some quality time together! Of course, traveling and holidays in general can bring on some big emotions. That’s why this week I thought I would share a couple books that have helped us tackle some needed conversation about how to handle those feelings….
As we all know, toddlers have big emotions! Recently, Ella has had some meltdowns and I honestly don’t even know what has happened. She will be fine and then all the sudden she is tummy to the floor kicking and crying…woah, sister. Tucker has been a great big brother when this happens. He will say, “Ella, take a deep breath” and then take one to show her. Sometimes she is too far gone to even hear his words, but amazingly, sometimes she stops and takes one. Cheers to having those occasional moments of “parent wins.” I do want my kids to be able to regulate their emotions. I want them to be able to handle the BIG feelings. I have always been an emotional person. I hated getting into trouble or feeling like I disappointed someone when I was younger. It sticks with me if someone says something negative to me and I can see some of those same characteristics in Tucker as he is getting older. I want him to feel free to express his emotions and work through frustrations, disappointments or negativity in a healthy way.
Books are a great asset when trying to teach our kids something new. If I want the kids to be able to find the words to express themselves; they need to expand their feeling vocabulary. At our most recent trip to the library, I unknowingly had a theme for the books we checked out. We had multiple books in our stack about emotions. One of the books, When I See Red (listed below), worked as a great tool to describe anger. Children (even adults) have such a difficult time trying to articulate how anger feels. How if you let the storm rage, you can’t see that the storm will pass. Kids live in the moment. To be able to read this book and then discuss how the girl was feeling as the anger swept over her was very informative for my little guy. The ending gives you blue skies and a storm that has passed which lends itself nicely to explaining that when you feel angry and out of control, it does pass. This is where I inserted examples. For instance, when he gets mad at Ella when she takes his toys or knocks down his magnet block towers. He feels angry but, if he can take a deep breath and not immediately yell at her or hit her, the storm will pass. Then once he is more in control, he can use his words to say why it made him upset. The other book, Today I Feel (listed below), expanded his vocabulary. Not just in the sense of feelings, but words that go along with pictures to help define their meaning. Words such as adored, nervous, relaxed, bright, excited, invisible. In the synopsis for the story it says, “not all are positive or simple, but all are important and worthy of discussion.” I couldn’t agree more. If you are looking for a couple books to add to your collection or check out at your local library on your next visit, I highly recommend each of these.
Of course, for our children to be able to regulate their emotions, we must be able to regulate our own. It is a challenge. We all have hard days, but if we can show our kids how to deal with our big feelings in a healthy way imagine how much better we all will feel. I hope both my little ones feel like they have a safe space with me. To feel comfortable enough to have the big emotions. Until they can fully express with words how they are feeling, we will all just be over here taking lots of deep breaths and reading lots of books.
Have you read either of these books? Are there others you have read about emotions that you would like to recommend? Drop a line in the comments. Until next week, happy reading.
Title and author or books mentioned above:
-When I See Red by Britta Teckentrup
-Today I Feel by Madalena Moniz
