Forget-Me-Not
My grandpa passed away after being diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease at just 68 years old. He was such a huge part of my life for so long that at times it's hard to believe he has been gone for so long. I prayed and prayed that he would be healed or that he was misdiagnosed...but after he passed, one of my grandma's friends told us how she had prayed for his suffering to end and for him to get rest. It never occurred to me to shift my perspective. To realize that my grandpa was suffering as he turned into a shell of a person we once knew. My grandma was suffering having to visit the love of her life every day as he faded. And we were suffering because we were essentially losing him twice.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28
That small shift in perspective is a reminder for me to look at situations from a different angle which I put into practice on our most recent family vacation. We had trouble getting the kids to sleep. So much so that we abandoned naps altogether for the week. It wasn’t worth spending our whole afternoon trying to get them down. They were too excited for all the possibilities that were awaiting them outside. We had some issues with listening and following instructions and there were a couple of moments on the trip that made me think of the reel I have seen on Instagram. You know the one that jokingly asks a mom how the family vacation went and then the clip switches to a boxer that is bleeding with a black eye. The boxer won so she is smiling through it. It is a humorous clip poking fun at how hard vacations can be for parents with young kids.
While we were on this recent trip, my grandma came along, and it just so happened to fall on what would have been my grandpa’s 80th birthday. There were a lot of emotions for my grandma that morning, so we decided to take a walk—fresh air always helps! An amazing thing happened on that walk. Both my grandma and I felt renewed. She found joy in a wildflower she picked and thought about how she should be grateful for the opportunity to experience these moments with family. Which in a way brings a part of Grandpa along too. His memory is so connected to us that there are times when we say what we think he would say during a funny experience or laugh because it reminds us of him. His presence is felt even when he isn’t there. The walk was refreshing in the sense that we realized that we should be more present. Instead of being sad because of missed opportunities or missed loved ones, we should share delight in the fact that we are still here to experience them. I returned to the cabin feeling hopeful. Fresh air gave me the fresh perspective I needed. You don’t go on family vacations to relax and unwind, at least not with toddlers…you go on them to make memories.
These are memories that I will cherish and hold dear. I envision the sun reflecting off the water as my children cast their poles. I envision the looks of excitement as they jump up from a bobber slipping beneath the water. The hands held on the walk around the campground and the belly laughs from fish wiggling in their hands. I can close my eyes and picture the sweet faces of my babies on either side of my husband on the boat and relish the fact that my kids will think of all the fun they had and not the lack of sleep we all got. I hope that through my gratitude journals and baby book entries even if I forget some moments because of age or illness, those memories will live on in my words written on a page. And maybe someday, my kids will read these pages. I hope they will feel the sincere love I have for each of them as if I were there brushing their cheek with my fingers and whispering in their ear, “I love you more than words can say.”
If you or anyone you know has been impacted by Alzheimer’s Disease and need resources for caregivers and family members, please visit the Alzheimer’s Association website and know that you are not alone. There are great ways to get involved in your community with the Walk to End Alzheimer’s or monthly donations. I feel very strongly about Alzheimer’s Awareness and hopefully someday with the help of medical research, there will be a cure.
As always, have a wonderful weekend, and happy reading!
