Mom Friends
When you read the title of this week’s blog, you might have thought of a few different comedic memes online about how difficult it is to meet moms that you’d like to hang out with. Yes, I laugh at them too because there is quite a bit of truth to how hard it can be. Do you have the same parenting strategies? Do your kids get along? Are they near where you live? It can be tough getting out of the house in the morning no matter if you have one child or five so if you live too far away, you know it won’t be a weekly playdate friendship... But I’d like to shine a light on the positive side of building a village of mom friends. Motherhood is one of those things that transcends age or status. It’s the one thing that no matter what you do or where you come from—there will be some sort of commonality you and another mother can share. Whether it’s sleeping through the night (or the lack thereof) or potty-training woes, picky eaters, etc. It is a job that every mother can agree is difficult, stressful, and trying. No matter if it’s your best day or worst—you keep showing up. But motherhood can also be one of the most beautiful and rewarding experiences of our lives if we let it. And what an absolutely amazing gift to be able to share the ups and downs with other women that get it.
Because I think mom friendships are so important but difficult to make—here are my quick tips for making new mom friends. I wouldn’t give you tips that I haven’t tried myself; these are things I’ve stepped out of my comfort zone to try. Keep in mind, some of these might make you uncomfortable, but as I’ve mentioned in the past, comfort keeps you where you are. Get uncomfortable so you can grow! What’s the worst that will happen? Maybe you have an awkward encounter, or maybe you make a new bestie!
My first tip is just to say hello and start a conversation. I have done this recently at my kids' gymnastics classes and swimming lessons. There was a mom sitting close to us while we watched my son’s class. I had seen her before but never talked to her. Ella was excited because the mom had a baby—she’s crazy about baby dolls at the moment. I said hi to the baby and asked a question about how old he was, that led to us exchanging names and a whole conversation. It turned out that she was related to one of my husband’s best friends from college. It is such a small world. I would have never known any of that or learned about our connections if I wouldn’t first just said, hello. Isn’t it crazy that you might sit next to someone or see them week after week and never learn their name? I get it, we get into the habit of talking to the people we already know. Why not befriend someone else? Include another mom in your conversation. Ask them their name or which kid is theirs. You might not build a lifelong friendship, but at least for the duration of the lessons, you’ll have a friend. And trust me, they will feel just as happy to have an adult conversation too.
My second tip, reach out to moms you already know to have a playdate. Maybe you aren’t great friends, or you feel weird because you haven’t hung out in years (pre-kids), but let me tell you if you have kids the same age and they are in the same area—that’s gold! Send a text (if you still have their number) or a message on social media and ask if they want to meet for coffee at a park while the kids play. It’s nice to have mom friends that are going through similar kid phases. This gives you the ability to vent or laugh at funny things they are doing, but most importantly makes you realize you are not alone. Do you have awesome mom friends already, but know a mom who could use a couple more? Invite that mom to one of your playdates. In my opinion, the more the merrier.
My third tip is to be yourself. You are a good person with a good heart. Your kids are amazing, but every mom needs a break sometimes. Don’t act like everything is perfect when it isn’t. Be real and be vulnerable. That connection will start to build, I promise. I hope these little tips help. I know it’s scary to put yourself out there but think of what you are missing out on if you don’t. Mom friends are important and necessary. I hope you find some great ones.
Have a wonderful weekend and as always, happy reading.
