Mom Guilt
Gold + Grain Photography
@goldandgrainphotography
As I mentioned a couple weeks ago, my husband and I took a trip to Hawaii. It was our first trip (just the two of us) since our honeymoon six years ago. I wrote this post before we landed so it is geared more towards leaving than what we experienced while we were there. That is a post for another time—which I am excited to eventually share because I picked up a few charming little children’s books while we were there that I can’t wait to tell you about! And I must urge you all to read Maui Revealed before venturing to Maui. I would download the audio tour guide app that goes along with it as well! It led to some truly unforgettable sites that we look back on fondly and remember forever. Until then, let’s talk about mom guilt…
As I sit here on the plane headed to Hawaii, ecstatic about the possibilities that await my husband and I when we land, I am also obtusely aware that nine days is a long time to be away from my babies. This will be the longest I have ever been away from either of them. Did I leave enough instruction for my family in the PAGES of notes that I typed and retyped (2 weeks) before we left? Will they know what Tucker is wanting when he asks for a skateboard kid (his description of a Z Bar granola bar) or that “boo sauce” is BBQ sauce? Will they know how to distract Ella when she is upset about not being able to climb the couch like her older brother or that she will hold her drink towards you and want you to “cheers” her. Of course, because I made note of all those things in great detail which is why the instructions are at least 10 pages long. Describing in length from where random things are located in the house to daily routines. You would think phone calls, texts and facetime isn’t a thing! Basically, I am sitting on the plane missing may kids and I have only been in the air a few hours and the family members we left in charge are more than capable …or we wouldn’t have left them. However, that doesn’t change this sense of guilt I feel leaving them for so long—which brings me to guilt, parenting guilt, more specifically mom guilt.
Before writing this, I read three magazines that have been sitting on my shelf since November. I wasn’t interrupted one time while turning each page and yet, I almost felt bad. Some mornings I drink my coffee until noon because that is how long it takes to get everyone, and everything settled between sips. And some days I think I just want a chance to sit on my patio, magazine on my lap and coffee in my hand without distraction or daily tasks to complete. What a dream to just have a few minutes to myself before the hustle and bustle of the day starts—then I have hours of uninterrupted time on a plane where I caught up on those dusty magazines and I missed them! As I read those magazines, the holiday issue to be exact, it focused on intention and gratitude and finding delight in the little moments. That issue spoke to me…
So, instead of feeling guilty for leaving, I am going to practice gratitude and be intentional on this vacation. I am going to fit as much into this trip as I possibly can, to experience new things, be more adventurous than I am in my daily life and explore this island with my soul mate. I am going to snorkel (even though I am terrified of the possibilities of a shark being close by) and maybe zip-line (I’m afraid of heights so we shall see), but wouldn’t that be a story to tell? The next glorious bedtime story unfolding the details of the brave girl that fought off sharks, swam with sea turtles and jumped so she could feel like she could fly. I think that sounds like the beginning of a story they would love to hear. I am going to miss my kids and lets be honest, probably cry when I get to squeeze them and kiss their sweet faces when we return, but I will delight in this experience and remind myself how truly grateful I am that I get to take this vacation and not waste the unimaginable beauty I am about to experience by taking a break to fully recharge before heading back to those sweet nuggets. They deserve that. They deserve grand stories of our island adventure. To have a scavenger hunt with the Hawaiian treasures we bring back for them and to have two parents that love each other enough to take a break from the sometimes chaotic, sometimes hum-drum day to day, to recharge. We will do this in order to come back with eyes wide open to the enchanting beauty of our everyday family life. After all, to be able to fill everyone else’s cup, you must first fill your own. Cheers to no more mom guilt and taking the breaks that we need whenever we need them—whether they are five minutes or 9 days in Hawaii.
Have there been moments you have felt mom guilt/parent guilt? Tell me about it in the comments below!
