A Hole in One
My husband and I were watching a golf highlight video on YouTube as we waited on the tarmac for our plane to take off. There was a clip from 1999. The player, Fred Couples, hits a shot over water and makes a hole-in-one. The crowd goes wild and then the video cuts to the next clip. Watching the golfer, I was suddenly transported back to my childhood. I was 11 years old in ’99. When I would visit my dad, we watched a lot of the PGA tour. That 15-second clip wasn’t just of “Freddie Boom-Boom Couples” (as my dad referred to him), but it was reminiscent of carefree childhood and family bonding. Golf was the vehicle in which a lot of family memories took place. It’s funny how a sound or smell can instantly transport you to a different place and time. For example, if I hear the crunch of gravel, I’m brought back to my grandpa’s golf shoes (the old ones with the metal spikes) digging into the rocky cart paths as I sat in the golf cart waiting for my instructions to drive onto the next hole. His chauffeur for the front 9. These brief trips down memory lane make me smile and remind me that our kids are making memories of spending time with us. No matter what that quality time entails—whether watching professional golfers make seemingly impossible shots, playing a board game, or reading a book, the time together matters.
I want my kids to have memories that bring them joy. I hope one day they can see or hear something and travel back to a moment filled with laughter and love. We’ve been listening to the song “Good Day” by Forrest Frank. The lyrics are straightforward, “I’m about to have a good day…” Whether we are in the car headed to school or in the kitchen eating breakfast, I want my kids to tell themselves they are about to have a good day. There is immense power in positive thoughts. If we tell ourselves every morning that we are about to have a good day, we are much more likely to have a good day than a bad one. Your brain constantly tries to prove whatever narrative you have to be correct. My goal isn’t just to instill positive attitudes in my children, but to create memories. Someday if they hear that particular song or eat chocolate chip pancakes, they might smile as they think of our kitchen dance parties—that’s my hope at least. We have the opportunity as parents to teach our children and give them the skills necessary to someday survive without us. Still, we also have the amazing opportunity to enjoy each other. To regularly laugh together and connect. The privilege to show how much we adore them.
As I packed for the trip my husband and I had to take, I decided this was the perfect opportunity to go through my kids’ closets as well. What began as a morning activity turned into a task spanning half of my day. After lunch, my son said, “Mommy you haven’t played with me at all today.” Oh man, the realization that just because we had all been in the same room didn’t automatically mean my kids felt connected to me was a bit of a gut punch. We can get so busy and set in our to-do list check-offs that we forget to be present with the ones who truly want nothing more than our time (and maybe a snack). I knelt and put his sweet face in my hands. I told him that I loved playing with him and asked him what he would like to do together. He asked me to help him finish building his LEGO astronaut set. I set aside the pile of clothes that were too small, a tangible example of time passing, and sat down at the table with my very own LEGO Master. Maybe in 20 years he will see a video and be brought back to those beautiful moments together at the table with me looking for the gray and white pieces that all seem to look the same and him clicking them into place. Simultaneously filling each other’s cups.
What memories can you make with your little ones this weekend?
I hope you have a great weekend and as always, happy reading.
