Balance
I get really excited about opportunities. Well, I get excited about most things, really. Like when Ella and I pick up Tucker from school and on the way there we chant, “TUCK – ER, TUCK – ER, TUCK – ER” on repeat. I hope I can pass on my excitement for the BIG things as well as the little things like school pick-ups to my kids. Maybe that’s part of my legacy; that’s what I’ll leave with them. Excitement. Excitement about a butterfly flying around you, purple trees scattered along the highway in the spring, or perhaps the Chiefs winning another Super Bowl! The problem with excitement sometimes though, at least in my case, is that it can redirect my attention entirely to focus on what I’m excited about, which throws me off balance.
Let me give you an example. This blog has been an extremely exciting adventure for me. And when I start something, I want to give it 100%. That voice from my grandpa gets in my head that says, you always want to give something your all and don’t quit. The issue with giving something 100% of your focus, time, and energy means you are taking it from somewhere or something else. So, I was trying to put everything I had into it. I was hyper-focused (and excited) about the possibilities. The blog passion project on top of Book 2 and beyond meant I needed to concentrate. This is hard to do with a 2 and 4-year-old with you all day long. How do you get anything done in that environment? For me, I found myself putting them in front of the tv. Now, I’ve mentioned before that my kids don’t use tablets or phones and that on occasion we watch television, but I was using it as a crutch. Something happened though. By trying to overwork the “business” side of me, the creative side started to slip. My inspiration and joy (greatly associated with my kiddos) were not as present, because I was not as present! Who cares if I’m knocking out social media posts and future blog posts like a champ if the people I truly care about and want to be there for aren’t getting my most important asset—my time?
This lasted for about a month. Until one day, I thought, what am I chasing? What am I trying to prove? In the pursuit of trying to lead others to a more intentional life…I was letting my authenticity slip. The funny thing is, no one except me and maybe my family would have noticed, but I knew. I knew my balancing act was tipping the scale to unbalanced day-to-day. So, I made a change. For two weeks I did the bare minimum to keep to the schedule for blogs and social media. I didn’t think about the hustle. I turned the tv off and implemented a new quiet time routine—essentially naptime. We baked, played pretend, visited parks, and had playdates. We got balanced.
I tell you all this not to shame anyone about tv time because clearly, we watch shows, but to make you aware and to hopefully lead you to ask yourself if you feel balanced. Obviously, we can’t be the best in every area at all times, but if we practice being intentional with our time, we can live a more balanced existence. And do you want to know the craziest part of realizing all of this? I have had more consistent joyful days and felt more creative inspiration come my way but without the stress or anxiety of having to complete my self-imposed timelines, deadlines, and to-dos.
You might be wondering what changes I made that could potentially help you as well. The first thing I did was start waking up before the rest of the family and I completed my workout first thing. I always secretly scoffed at the early risers and workout first thing-ers. I usually worked out at night after the kids went to bed and you all know the exhaustion after a full day and then bedtime routines, but there would be the nagging in my mind, don’t sit down or you won’t want to get back up to do the workout. Now that I’ve been doing it in the morning, I don’t have the internal monologue because working out is no longer on my to-do list all day long, it’s done first thing. If you aren’t someone who works out, you can disregard this change I implemented, but I will say as someone who never used to workout either that after becoming a mom, I started working out and it has helped my stress level tremendously. So, give it a shot. Another thing I started doing was planning my meals for our family on Sundays. This ensures that I have the groceries needed for the week and alleviates the question of “What am I going to make today?!” If I plan my day and overall time better, then I know when I am going to get things done. If I have a plan for when I am going to complete things, then it’s no longer a source of tension. This gives me more time to be connected through play and reading with the kids. It gives me more quality time with my husband in the evening as well. Am I still tired? Yes. Am I still grinding toward my goals? Yes, because I truly believe we are all made to do absolutely incredible things with our lives if we don’t quit.
I may have slowed down in my pursuit of balance and joy, but I refuse to quit. So, make sure to take inventory of yourself. Are you feeling balanced? If not, what are some small changes you can make to bring you closer to equilibrium?
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I hope you all have a wonderful weekend, and as always, happy reading.
